


Shameless

by TheBiQueenOfLineBreaks (TheUnwritten1219)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury is a Winchester, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28044807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUnwritten1219/pseuds/TheBiQueenOfLineBreaks
Summary: After some pleading, Dean teaches Cas to flirt ( maybe too well), not realizing Cas is using Dean's own moves against him.Or,“The way you flirt is shameful.”“I learned from the best”Dean groans as Cas settles fully onto his thighs, his palms tightening their grip on his hips.“Oh yeah? What else did you learn from me?”Cas can't keep himself from what he says next.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

“So I take it your attempts at seduction fell flat?”

_ Boy, did they.  _

Fell flat doesn't even begin to cover it. It fell flat- off a cliff and into a vat of acid. 

Cas lets himself flop onto the redhead's bed, groaning pathetically, “It was a travesty, Char!”

“Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t so bad.”

Sitting up abruptly, Cas fixes her with a stern look, “I told him I was cold and he got up and got me a blanket.” He deadpans. 

“That’s hardly a travesty, Cas. I mean, that’s totally sweet.”, Charlie bites her lip to keep from smiling, glancing at her tortured friend as she searches for something to wear. 

“Not when it’s immediately followed by him saying, ‘Here, maybe this’ll make you quit your bitchin’ ”

“Isn’t that Dean speak for, ‘I hope this makes you feel better.’ ? You know the guy better than anyone, you should know that- Is this too casual?”

Drawing himself away from his own self inflicted hell, Cas peaks to see what Charlie has changed into. 

He considers the red v-neck paired with her favorite black and white flannel- one he’s sure he helped Dean pick out for her last Christmas- “It’s cute but I would go with the blue blouse Dorthy got you for your birthday junior year. It’ll come off more sentimental. Express that you care for the things she gives you, no matter how trivial.”, the brunette advises before falling back onto lavish bedding. 

Charlies voice is far away as she disappears deeper into her closet in a rush, shouting back to no one in particular, “Ugh, he’s a fucking genius!”

“And of course I know he didn’t mean anything rude by what he said but… I just wanted him to put his arm around me or something, Charlie. Why is that so awful?”

Castiel hates himself as soon as the familiar burn stings behind his eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly, swallowing against the persistent lump raising havoc on his throat.

Charlie is beside him in a second.

Gently, she lies herself beside him. She mimics his position, back flat on the mattress, shoulders touching, allowing the brunette to gain control over his breaths. 

She doesn’t try to console him and Cas appreciates it so very much. Sure he’d finish breaking down if met with anything else.

After another moment, Cas opens his eyes, turns his head, a thank you or even an apology on the tip of his tongue when, 

“Gah! Charlie, put on a shirt!” He cries, a surprised laugh tumbling past his lips. Dramatically covering his eyes with both hands.

The redhead chuckles in response, sitting up and shifting her weight from either shoulder to shimmy her bra covered breasts, “You gay guys really don’t appreciate how awesome these things are. It’s a shame.”

“About as much of a shame as it is for you lesbians to be deterred by dick!”, Cas counters, eyes still covered, smile still tugging at his lips. 

He feels the bed react to Charlie standing again, walking in the direction of her closet once again. 

“In addition to speaking Dean, I’m rather fluent in Castiel,” She explains, “Non-verbal for you is as good as yelling. And you were yelling for some support, my friend. The equally non-verbal kind.”

“Yeah yeah, you’ve got us all figured out.”

“Damn straight!”

He knows she’s right, which is probably also the reason he came with her all those weeks ago with some half cocked plan to make Dean aware of how painfully infatuated he is with him.

They all met as freshman's in college.

Castiel and Dean had lived across the hall from one another and while they didn’t share any courses or at the time, share any friends, they met by chance and hadn’t been the same since. 

All Castiel knows is, one day a man with the devil in his eyes and danger in his voice came up to him in the library because he thought he worked there and had felt so awful about the misunderstanding he befriended him on the spot. 

In a blink, all that danger wrapped in a bad boy exterior, somehow, right before his eyes became  _ holy _ .  _ Scripture _ . 

_ Sacred  _ and seared into the universe.

This man was a force Castiel couldn’t have imagined existed. Castiel had fallen right into his orbit and he was powerless to stop his world from revolving around Hospital drama trivia and pale green eyes.

From that day forward Dean and Castiel had built a friendship. He was swiftly dubbed Cas and introduced to Dean's friends, all of which quickly took to Cas well enough considering it was 5 years later and they all remained in contact. 

Charlie and Castiel, in particular, had become close. After college Dean had suggested they find a place together and because he hadn’t possessed the power to say the words ‘No’ to Dean Winchester since he asked the simple question of, ‘Do you work here?’, he had agreed. 

Of course, he knew it was an awful idea. The pitiful way he yearned for Dean would surely be even harder to covet living with the man. It didn’t make him feel any better that his torturous heart couldn't stop fluttering at the thought of waking up and walking into a kitchen that smelled of Dean. Surrounded by his books and Zeppelin posters. Smooth velvet the first thing he heard in the morning and the last thing he heard at night.

Charlie had been the one he drank himself into a stupor with. And it was her that had shown up beside him the next morning, thankfully with a glass of water and some aspirin, having spoken with Dean, begging him to let her have Castiel as a roommate instead, claiming she couldn’t afford her new apartment alone.

Dean, while disappointed, didn’t really need a roommate, just found it convenient. Of course being perfect as he is, Dean had immediately given up the chance to live with the brunette without a second thought. 

Cas tried not to let that thought hurt too badly.

Fast forward, and they were all grown up. With real jobs and bills to pay, lives they never could have imagined they would Lead. 

Yet, even with all their accomplishments, nothing had changed. 

Dean was still beautiful and dangerous in his own right, wrapped in flannel, smelling of whiskey and more home than Cas ever had an opportunity to familiarize himself with. 

And Cas… Cas was Cas. 

An honest to God grown man, clinging to the same old fantasy of Dean Winchester, as he had when he was 18 years old. 

Reappearing in front of Castiel, Charlie now fully dressed, awkwardly poses, giving an odd twirl. She gnaws on her lip anxiously.

“You look great, don’t be so nervous.” Cas encourages, “This will be like any other time you’ve gone out with her.”

“Yeah except, every time before, the prospect of me making an ass of myself wasn’t quite as calamitous. This is an  _ actual  _ date, Cas! Not just watching  _ Star Wars _ or  _ Harry Potter  _ for an entire weekend, stuffing our faces full of junk as you sleep 20 feet away in the next room. Dude, what if she wears a dress? I won’t be able to speak! I’m definitely gonna swallow my tongue if she wears a dress. Oh my God, Cas am I gonna be a total spaz?”

“Oh, Charlie,” He soothes softly, cutting off her rambling. He moves to stand before her, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, 

“You are  _ absolutely  _ gonna be a spaz.”

Charlie glares, but Cas can see his teasing served its purpose, her shoulders the slightest bit more relaxed, 

“You’re a dick!”

“I’d enjoy answering with something Gabe would say, like; ‘You are what you eat’ or something equally as ridiculous, but I'm honest to God scared of you and would never say your a pussy so I’ll simply respond with a cheeky grin.”

Just as he said, he flashes a risible smile. Charlie fights back her own

“Yeah, and  _ I’m _ the spaz”, she replies “Thank you for reminding me as long as you’re around that title is steadily claimed.” 

The eye-roll is heavily implied.

“I believe we have established that, yes.”

She shakes her head affectionately, smiling up at her big lug of a roommate, “Christ, you are a lost cause.”

“Dean says that sometimes too.” His smile is bittersweet.

Still, this is Charlie’s night. Her first date with Dorthy, a woman she has mooned over for the better part of two years. He can put aside his own turmoil to make room for Charlie's happiness. 

He tries to conceal the underlying pain in cloudy blue eyes as his mind predictably wonders towards Dean, but Charlie catches it before he can.

“Cas,” Charlie squares her shoulders, prepared to ram this into Cas' skull if the need arises, “That boy has feelings for you. I’m  _ sure _ of it.”

The conviction in her tone should serve as a deterrent to Cas’ doubts, but all it does is make him burn inside. He wants to believe her more than he wants to breathe.

Swallowing idly, Cas runs a hand through tousled brown strands, laughing more as to ease the tension than because anything is especially amusing, 

“I’m not quite as sure as you seem to be, Charlie. There’s nothing left for me to do. I’ve tried it all. Cooking him dinner, making subtle passes. Complimenting how he looks that day. Even outwardly telling him that he’s my favorite person. But he is relentless in sneaking into any conversation just how glad he is to have me as his ‘Best Friend’. Even if he hasn’t gotten any of my hints I certainly have gotten his.”

“But Cas-”

“No, Charlie,” Cas protests, holding up both hands in surrender.

“ I’m just gonna have to move on… somehow. And don’t look at me like that! This is your big night. The story you’ll tell your kids someday, of the first date their mothers went on and how it led to the greatest marriage in the galaxy. And all thanks to uncle Cas’ great sense of fashion.” 

Charlie bites her lip, sympathy welling in her eyes. The man's overt effort of changing the subject was not lost on the redhead. 

Cas feels his heart constrict, every ounce of strength he has working towards keeping the smile on his face.

“Knock em’ dead.”, he adds leaving Charlie in her room to finish getting ready, effectively cutting off any further conversation. 

It’s about 15 minutes later that Charlie is standing in their living room, telling Cas not to wait up and lock the door behind her. 

He grins at her and while he still hurts deep in his chest, it’s genuine. 

Charlie deserves happiness. Deserves someone who  _ makes _ her happy. And there isn’t a person on earth that does it better than Dorthy. He couldn’t be more thrilled for the start of the rest of her life, right there in front of them. 

There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Dorthy is Charlies ‘The one’;  Charlie's _Dean_. 

“You won’t be a spaz.” He smiles.

She beams up at him, giving him a quick hug before they both move towards the door, 

“Thanks, Cas.”

“Any time, Red.”

Charlie has one leg over the threshold when she hesitates.

She sports a look all too familiar to her roommate. Turning around she meets Cas furrowed expression, “Hey, Cas?”

“Yes?”

“You’ve tried the subtle way and the not so subtle way. “ She begins, words slow and pensive, “Why not the  _ Dean  _ way?”

Cas raises a brow in question, not understanding.

“I mean, why not ask him!“ She continues, “If he’s not getting the picture, he’ll feed you exactly what it is he would do in the way of propositioning and recognize it as soon as you turn it around on him. Be that for positive or negative, though I’m leaning towards the positive, you’ll have your answer.”

“That’s…” 

Cas scrabbles to find a flaw. Something that could forever lock the door on the possibility of him and Dean but… He knows no matter how long he thinks and grules and doubts endlessly about it, this hypothetical door he has slammed closed so many times since they first met will always creaks back open. Usually as quickly as it had been shut. 

The slightest chance of anything was enough for him. 

So before he has enough time to stop himself he finishes his sentence, bare and vulnerable; completely out of options.

“That’s brilliant!”

“Not just a hat rack, blue eyes.”, Charlie smirks, tapping the top of her head.

She shoots him a lasting wink before disappearing behind their front door. 

Cas finds himself back in front of the television looking through the screen as opposed to retaining any entertainment.

Charlie's suggestion flies around his mind like those annoying cartoon birds he never understood. Nagging and repeating themselves until he started feeling dizzy. 

Where’s the harm?

At this point it couldn’t hurt, could it?


	2. Chapter 2

“Milk duds or Starbursts?” Dean calls out, tearing Cas away from his thoughts.

The television was queued up for their _Dr. Sexy_ season 14 rewatch. The lights are dim, having an aggravatingly intense effect on Cas’ present anxiety. Anxiety that of course Dean was oblivious to. 

Dean had been especially thrilled by how agreeable Cas had been about their little arrangement (As if Cas had ever been keen on denying the eldest Winchester anything) which translated into him being even more obtuse than usual. Blind to Cas’ obvious discomfort. 

“Both!”, Cas shouts back, feigning nonchalance.

He’s sat at his usual spot wringing his hands together, mentally rehearsing what he will say while Dean gathers their usual binging snacks none the wiser.

The mechanic was coming around the corner, setting down the bowl of popcorn on his coffee table along with the other assorted treats when Cas notices there’s a blanket swung over his shoulder.

At first, this confused him, until Dean carefully placed it half on his lap and half on his own. 

Dean watches the recognition reach bright blue eyes, briskly replying to the blue eyed man before his embarrassment could catch up to him.

“I brought those sour gummy worms you like so much too. Might as well get a sugar high if we’re gonna break night for this.”

Cas humms gently, trying to ease his evident embarrassment by acting non-interested, the prominent flutter in his chest betraying that notion entirely. 

He loves him like this. 

Sheepish and sweet. A vast contrast to the devil may care persona Dean created for himself. Cas knew he was one of the very few people who ever got the opportunity to enjoy Dean this way. Dean knew it too.

It warms a bit of his heart that could never remain cold. Not with Dean as the sun in his solar system. Cas knows most of the time it’s probably not worth the burn, but he can’t bring himself to stop revolving around the sun.

Here he is. The Icarus of another tragic tale he had no hope escaping, yet at the very last second...he took the leap.

“Dean I’d like you to teach me how to flirt.” he blurts out, the words blundering past his teeth before he can think to stop them. 

His breath is caught in his throat, gaze glued to Dean's frozen expression, a slew of frantic curses and panicked nonsense running through his mind at about a thousand miles a minute. 

Bright green eyes remain set on the unmoving television and the pause that follows his question only serves to increase Cas’ nerves that much more.

Dean sounds a bit too casual when he says, “Why would you want that?” 

He cracks open a beer just so he has something to do, taking a long swig before passing one to Cas, the both of them knowing he’ll nurse it for the next 5 episodes at least, 

“Need tips for the new book? One of the characters a Cassanova like me?”, he continues but his voice is odd.. Hopeful? Accusatory.

In an instance the air around them has shifted and Cas can’t tell if this was a mistake or not. It’s a valid question, an excuse even. Cas could easily use his efforts at constructing a novel as the reason for his sudden curiosity, but the entire point of what he was doing was a final effort of making Dean understand what he _wants_!

Meaning, any lies or struggles of deception will drag him away from that goal. All he could offer was the truth. 

He clears his throat, watching Dean take another swig of his drink.

_Now or never_

“I’ve taken an interest in someone romantically and I’d like you to help me flirt so they can understand that I want them to love me back. ”

Right away Dean begins to choke.

_******* _

Coughing painfully, Dean wipes the alcohol from his lips and looks at Cas with… well he doesn't know what that look means.

He’s beside him, closer than before, rubbing circles into his back and Dean wants to cry at the concern shining in baby blue eyes. 

"Are you alright?" He asks.

“Ahem, Yeah, yeah. I’m peachy. Just went down the wrong pipe is all.”

_Love!? Did he say Love? No…_

No, Cas doesn't love someone. He would have told him if he liked someone, there's just no way… there-it- It isn’t true. 

“Are you sure?”

For a moment he thinks Cas has read his mind, challenging his conclusion, before he realizes what he’s really referencing. 

There’s a crease between Cas’ brow calling out for Dean to smooth it over with his finger, something loud and aggressive cursing at him for not just being able to reach out and _touch...feel._

“So you like someone.”, His voice is strained but they both ignore it.

He wonders if Cas notes his avoidance of the word ‘love’ but chose not to correct him all the same,

“He doesn't seem to like me back.”, he admits, trying not to look dejected.

Dean just barley keeps himself from scoffing at the author, “I doubt that.”

“Charlie shares similar sentiments, but I disagree. However, I can’t be sure either way. Which is why I would very much like you to teach me how to be more enticing.”

_Charlie knows about… No- Whatever it doesn’t matter if Cas has a crush on some guy and didn’t come to him first. He doesn’t care._

Rolling his eyes idly, Dean supplies another peculiar look, a cross between bewildered and angry, “Cas, cut the crap. Your’e plenty enticing as is.”

It’s Cas' turn to be annoyed. 

“Dean, there's no need to sugarcoat-”

“Who’s sugarcoating _anything_?” 

A snide remark is on the tip of his tongue before he stifles it behind tightly pressed lips. 

He doesn’t need Dean trying to spare his feelings. Out of everyone in his life, Dean has always been number one to emphasize his awkwardness. While his comments were always playful teasing, it didn’t make it any less true or any more of a desirable trait for a mate. 

He allows a calming breath, “I know _you_ do not find me enticing.”

“And what makes you say that, “ Dean snaps. 

Cas sits up, his frustration towards Deans pseudo confusion ebbing away gently as words forceful and freeing begin to form in his mouth.

“Dean…” He starts,“This man is about as perfect as they come. Like fairytales do exist tier of perfection. He is kind and selfless. He is smart and silly and _no one_ can compare. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, even when I tried to. And _Fuck,_ _have I_ tried to!”

Dean contemplates the earnest desolation of Cas’ voice, the way his gaze shifts back and forth from Deans eyes to anywhere else. The vulnerability and forlorn notes were undenieable, yet Cas still managed a timid, fond smile as he describes this man. Almost as if the pain he's caused him was an afterthought, not as important as the person themself.

His skin is burning with jealousy, blood boiling beneath the surface. He wants to demand to know exactly who this person is. He wants to scream and cry and rip his hair out because he doesn’t want to hear this. Doesn’t want to know that Cas thinks this way about anyone! He feels his body get feverish, then he feels the ice. 

It’s like he’s been engulfed within a snow bank. Encased with no way out, a disturbed chill shaking his fondation. Cas is at one of the points in which he can’t meet his gaze and he finds it in himself to be grateful he misses the tremor that rattles him. With each confessed admiration Cas presents he feels everything warm, even his anger drain from him.

He wonders if an avalanche ever makes a sound. Or if it resembles the shattering of a heart. The loudest quiet he will ever know. 

Even so, this is Cas. 

In pain, confiding in Dean. 

He may not want to hear this, it may be breaking his heart but he won’t leave him alone.

He wont. 

His gaze remained fixed on the hands in his lap, when he says “I have tried to make someone else, _anyone else_ , work but...It’s useless. There’s no one like him and there never will be. Settling for anything less when there's even the slightest possibility of a future, is an unbearable thought. A disservice to each moment I stared at his lips when I could have been tasting them. Calling out his name to join me when I could have been screaming it at the top of my lungs. Torturing myself- being jealous of my own damn name because it knew how to be in his mouth.”

The blush that erupts past pale skin tells Dean, he might not have intended to share that last bit. 

“I’ve done everything to make him see how I feel, Dean and I can’t know if yo- _he’s_ purposefully sidestepping my advances or if, as you say, I’m ‘a lost cause’ and he simply can’t tell anymore than I can.”

“Cas…”

The brunette chooses that moment to raise his gaze. Dean finds shining blue eyes, unshed tears glistening in the blue glow of the television. 

He feels his body shake with the electricity as Cas traps blue with green, caged and begging for captivity. 

“ _Please_ , Dean. I’m- I’m out of ideas here.”

Then he’s lost.

Cas’ voice is rougher than usual and while this appears like a whole hearted declaration- something he can’t bring himself to dwell on too heavily, or he may collapse in on himself- there are words the author is holding back. More praise or declaration, more vulnerability, possibly, he for some reason feels he can’t fully disclose with the larger man

Dean can’t decide if that’s a good thing or an awful one. 

If these are the things he’s  _ willing _ to share, what does he keep to himself?

Does he want to hear about this mystery person, this man that Cas can’t lov-care for anyone else because of?

No… He can't say that he does. 

He draws his gaze back to the glimmering ocean asking him for help, and the words are slipping past his lips before he can stop them. 

“Y-Yeah, bud. I can help you.”   


_ Fuck! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeek! Hey booski's! Well I hope you enjoyed Chapter two! I had a lot of fun writing it.  
> Hopefully in the next couple days I'll have chapters 3 and 4 out for you :D! Please, please let me know what you think in the comments, they encourage me to write quicker lol.  
> Stay safe everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I'm a little nervous about this chapter but I hope y'all enjoy!

What the hell is he doing? 

This was supposed to be a simple movie night!

The plan was, get tipsy, moon over Dr Sexy, trade predictions for the next season and shove their faces with sugar. Maybe they’d fall asleep on the couch like the last few times they did this and end up wrapped in each another's arms. Cas pressed tightly, yet delicately into his side, jet black hair tickling his nose before they wake up nestled in their combined warmth. Not moving until Cas stirred- Dean always woke up first- demanding the blonde make him some coffee.

 _Instead_ , the T.v is shut off, his premeditated blanket set aside and rather than Cas pressing his shoulder against his own, (Soon to be replaced by soft messy hair), they were facing each other with a chasm of space separating them.

The only topic of conversation having nothing to do with Medical drama predictions, but of a man Dean didn’t even know and yet he wanted to rip his fucking lungs out. 

Because Cas was giving him that helpless expression. His stupid beautiful head cocked to the side in anticipated, confused while paying too much attention to the words coming out of his mouth. 

He thought of giving him awful advice.

To burp in the guys face. To exert dominance or be rude every chance he got, as to display… oh he doesn’t know. S _ome shit!_

Anything that meant he got to keep Cas. Keep him to himself. Keep him from the world. 

Cas would believe him too. He would do it and this asshat, whoever he is, would be out of the way. But…

Cas was giving him that helpless expression, his ridiculously stupid, _beautiful_ head cocked to the side, already confused. Listening so damn intently to everything Dean said. And in a moment of weakness, he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him for the sake of his own selfish wishes.

“Cas, “ He sighs, hating everything. 

“Flirting may not be the greatest course of action for you.”

The last thing this world or the poor bastard that Cas is interested in needs is Cas being _deliberately_ tempting. He does that well enough with no effort.

Dean can’t imagine the destruction it may bring if his allure was intentional. 

“Dean, you just agreed to help me. And what you’ve advised so far are more than I could have come up with on my own.”

“Yeah, but-”

Cas chimes in before Dean can finish, “So you were saying less is more?”

Dean thinks of not answering before the obligation begins to settle in. 

Sighing in resignation Dean says, “Yeah. That was pretty much the idea. I mean, I don’t know the guy and your blatant avoidance of their name tells me you don’t plan on disclosing that information anytime soon. Your best bet aren’t large gestures.”

Cas shakes his head mutely, taking his ip between his teeth nervously. 

“Just,” he pauses, the skin of his lip turning almost white beneath the tension of his teeth. 

Dean feels his eyes trail down to that mouth. He imagines how soft they would feel against his own, how Cas would open up his mouth to let Dean’s tongue caress his. Pictures how low that blush may go and how otherworldly even the opportunity to kiss Cas may feel. 

Then he sees himself replaced with some faceless man. Cas panting into someone else's flesh. Saying someone elses name, lying beside some other body on some undeserving couch and he wants to fucking scream! To disappear and curse every God there is for putting him in this situation. 

“Just what?” Dean rasps to keep himself from his subversive thoughts. 

“Just,” He tries again, “...Just pretend that i-it’s you. That you are the person that I want to impress and be with. What would you want- How would you like…” He scrambles to finish his sentence, unsure on how to finish, 

“This is very difficult for me, Dean.” He finally settles on, begging Dean with wide deer-like eyes to just put two and two together and rescue him from his own awkwardness.

Difficult for _him!?_

Dean feels like his lungs are collapsing. He wants to take Cas’ face in his hands and tell him that he already does everything humanly possible to draw Dean in like a moth to a flame. 

That he wants him, that he needs him! But the words get caught in his throat. He looks into deep sapphire pools and wishes he could drown in them. He’d gladly stop breathing if it meant he could stop this from happening. If he could just sit here, looking into the most beautiful eyes he ever got to know and _not_ help the love of his life get with some other man who probably didn’t know what his favorite color was, or his favorite spot in central park, the one that was nearest to that bee colony he stopped by on his darker days. A man that didn’t love how grumpy Cas is in the mornings. Or didn’t appreciate his gummy smiles for the rarity they were. 

Someone...Someone who isn’t Dean.

_Why is this happening? ‘Just pretend that it’s you’ ? ‘That you are the person that I want to impress and be with.’_

This had to be an awful, _cruel_ joke from the universe, 

“Y-you want me- Okay, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how I’d like for _you_ to flirt with _me_?”

Cas takes a moment to spin the words back in his mind before nodding his head in agreement. 

“You can’t be serious,Cas”

“Dean, you said-”

“Cas, can’t you just tell the guy right out? Say; I like you, how do you feel about me?”

The brunette squares his shoulder, expression tender but firm, “I like you. How do you feel about me?”, His voice is shaking and while Dean sees that he’s simply expressing a point that his suggestion may not be the best approach, a shiver still sparks down his spine. 

For a second, for a single, unfair second it feels like Cas is genuinely saying those words to Dean. Fists balled up tight, nerves vibrating over pale flesh, looking more vulnerable than he should while talking to Dean. 

Quickly he shakes the notion from his mind, contemplating his next words. 

“Okay, I see your point, Smartass. No preamble may come off as odd.”

Cas’ shoulders fall. His brows pinched and lips parted slightly, eyes shinning with unshed tears. Dean asses that look but he can’t seem to make sense of it. He feels his body stray closer to Cas, shifting slightly into his space. He wants to pull him into his arms, hug him until the tension eases from his features. 

Under normal circumstances, he would (like when Charlie or Sam look like they just need that form of rapport) but when it came to the author Dean isn’t the most touchy feely, mostly because he’s afraid of how addictive it would be to simply touch Cas whenever he wanted as opposed to only when strictly appropriate. 

Still, getting that slightest bit closer eases something with him. That mild taste of body heat emanating off his best friend's skin, serves to assure Cas that he’s here. That he will support him and help him through this. 

And if he’s truthful with himself, he can admit that it’s also to assure himself that while Cas may be seeking his advice in a conquest for another man, but it was _Deans’_ home he stood in now. Saturating _Deans’_ living room with his sweet honey scent. 

It was grasping at straws, but isn’t that what it’s always been like. Ever since they met. 

Honestly, the whole ordeal is laughable and ironic as hell. 

Here Castiel sat, practically pleading for Dean to show him how to lay down the charm, when it was no less than 5 years ago that the very moves that Cas is so eager to learn were exercised on the man himself and he had expertly evaded the mechanics advances. Declining softly, while also stealing Deans breath in one go. 

He hadn’t been the same since. 

“What exactly are we trying to do here?” He hears himself ask. 

“I remain unsure. I don’t intend on forcing my flirtations on him. I just need for him to see my actions as romantically driven. He seems very adamant in perceiving my interests as friendly. It’s incredibly frustrating.”

Running an exasperating hand through his hair, Dean can’t help the bitterness from ringing through his voice, “Yeah I can see how that could be.” 

Cas leans forward, taking Dean's hand into his. Ignoring the blondes disoriented expression, Cas lets himself revel in the profound sensation that begins where they touch and chases down every nerve ending in his body until not a single one is ignorant to the electric current Dean has always had the power to awaken within him. 

“We don’t have to talk about it tonight,” He declares, “ I just wanted to ask. Please do not feel pressured into this, Dean. We were meant to watch _Dr.Sexy_ tonight and I fully intend on spending the next several hours making wrong predictions about the show just to get a rouse out of you.” 

Cas’ smile is warm, and almost apologetic.

Dean can practically see the self deprecating wheels turning in his head. Probably thinking he’d ruined Deans night for confiding in him

He doesn’t like him like this. 

Subdued and unsure. So different from his normal confidant and certain disposition. Dean wants him to smile the way he was before this all started. Teasing Dean about the diabetic buffet he has assembled or even afterwards. When he said the words that very well buried Dean beneath an ocean of ‘too late’ had yet to fully process. That vulnerability was more brave than Dean could ever have the guts to express, 

“Cas, I can help, if that’s what you want.” He promises, despite the pain in his chest, “Of course I will.”

His hand never wavers from Deans’, almost as if it’s paralyzed where it rested. Dean can feel his pulse hammering against his skin, 

“You don’t have to, Dean“

“But I _will_. Cas, you would do anything for me. I can help you flirt a little with some shithead you won’t give me a name for. It’s not a lot to ask for.”

The author laughs, disregarding the eldest Winchesters reassurance, “He’s not a shit head,” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Point is, that it ain’t a bad thing that you asked for my help on this. I want to help you, Cas. You want my help and you’re gonna get it, because you deserve it, _okay_?”

There is a beat of silence that follows, one that permits the mechanic to notice the nearly diminished space between them and the fact that his other hand, the one that isn’t nestled beneath Cas' more delicate fingers, is running back and forth over the brunette's forearm. Caressing the bare flesh living there. 

”Okay” Cas responds gently, eyes interestingly enough also captured by Dean's wandering hand. The mechanic swiftly drops it, awkwardly using it to rub at his neck instead.

“But,” he adds, lifting his gaze to a deep emerald, “ I want _this_ first. God knows how many more mindless, comfortable binge nights there are in our futures.”

 _What does_ that _mean? Once he gets a boyfriend, will he not be around to bullshit with Dean anymore? Or…_

He shakes himself from his thoughts before he lets it drive him mad. 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”, Dean tries to mean it. 

With a small smile, Cas nods his head, “Can I...Can I be vulnerable just once more tonight?”

“Of course!”

“I know you don’t like chick flick moments and this has been just one big feelings session, but I could really use a hug. I know you prefer affection under strict cir-” 

Before he can finish what he was saying Dean is dragging him in by his waist, Cas’ head resting reflexively onto his best friends’ shoulder. Hand lifting their own accord to drape around the larger man's neck.

Without warning tears soak into cotton in an instance, but Dean doesn't say anything. He simply tightens his embrace, thoughtlessly pressing, what he hopes he can pass off as a friendly kiss into midnight colored hair. 

“I’m scared he doesn’t love me.” Cas whimpers into Deans’ shoulder.

Cas’ pain does something twisted to Deans’ insides. He wants to throw up and protect all at once, but above all he doesn't want to see Cas like this ever again. Not over some guy. He’s gonna help him, even if it tears his heart in two.

It feels like glass is slicing his throat as he murmurs, 

“He loves you, Cas.”

A tearful scoff, followed by a small voice replies, “You don’t know who I’m talking about, Dean.”

“I don’t need to,” he argues.

Taking a shivering breath and hoping to God Cas can’t feel the rouge tear that slips into dark hair, he repeats, more forcefully;

“He loves you, Cas.”

 _Not as much as me,_ he wishes he could say, 

_No one can love you with the force or velocity that I do because I love you for reasons you’ve never been told, in ways you’ve never been loved, and with more than you'll ever know existed within me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, what did you think?  
> I'm not so sure if I entirely love this chapter, I may make some modification after I finish the fic, unless I get some positive feedback. If you liked it (or hated it) please let me know in the comments!  
> Thank you for reading, lovlies!  
> Stay safe  
> ~Geni


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovlies! I hope you enjoy chapter 4!  
> Also I'm looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested! My fic email is in my bio please feel free to use it <3!  
> Stay safe all!

They finish the night watching their show. Laughing at Deans’ excitement anytime Dr Sexy came on screen. Tossing popcorn or gummy worms at the other when they started dozing off and rattling off predictions for the next season based off of small scenes from episodes they had forgotten about.

And even though part of Dean was on fire while the other was ice cold, he was so damn happy in this one sueded evening.

Because Cas hadn't moved far from him. Always finding his way back to the inviting curve of Dean's side. Settling back beneath their shared blanket any time he moved to grab something from the coffee table. 

He kept glancing up to look at Dean, checking to see if this was still okay. There was so much trust and doubt in his eyes. Dean wanted to say... _ something _ . He couldn’t decide what exactly but it was probably something related to his pathetic infatuation. However, just as he always managed, he reminded himself. 

Cas isn’t meant for him. 

He isn’t meant to love Dean. 

Not when he could do so much better than flannel clad anger issues and a rudimentary drinking problem. 

No, Cas deserved the stars in the sky. Someone uncomplicated and brave. Someone as selfless as the man himself.

There was someone out there who could offer Cas the universe, all Dean has ever been is a measly planet falling apart at the seams. 

He takes advantage of his opportunity, taking the arm already slung over Cas’ shoulder and letting his hand run up and down the unbelievably soft skin there for the taking.

The television soon becomes white noise, lost and meaningless in comparison to the sauna of heat and peace, lying atop half of his body. 

He feels the exhaustion soak into his bones but he fights it off gruffly. He doesn’t want to fall asleep. Not yet. Not when he knows at some point when he wakes up again, Cas will be there waiting for him to hand him the steps he will take into another's man's arms. 

The hours were flying by too quickly. Before Dean knew it, the sun was due to rise in an hour and Cas had fallen asleep on his shoulder an entire episode ago. 

Dean finds himself running fingers through soft, perpetually messy hair next, searching past thick strands for sharp lines and soft curves. 

Without his permission, the tip of his finger trails from his hairline to the creamy skin of his cheek bones then his jaw. He stops himself short of trailing over plump lips, taunting him in all their unfair perfection.

“I have  _ so  _ much to say to you.” He whispers, voice strained, “But I can’t say a word of it, can I?”

He looks so  _ young _ this way. Just as he did when they first met. Fresh faced and eager to understand the world. 

Cas was home schooled before college, meaning his knowledge of social interactions past his siblings were limited at best. Which, in hindsight, explained a lot about their initial interaction. 

That being said, the man is sharp as a tack. Always so willing, not to mention capable, of maintaining an interested, in depth conversation with the Brains of the group, ie; Charlie, Kevin and Sammy.

All topics over Deans scope of understanding, of course. 

Yet, he never tried to show Dean up in that regard. 

The opposite actually. Cas included Dean in these types of conversations, urged his opinions and made him feel like he could be a part of it, despite the fact he knew he had no business trying to be one of “the smart ones” of the group.

He knew better. Said so even. 

Cas never liked that answer. Loathed it anytime Dean tried to evade conversations he secretly wanted to know more about. It became so common after they first became friends that he was soon accustomed to the pattern of things and instead of separating himself from the conversation he’d pay attention and sparingly offered his own views. 

It had been surreal.

These were people Dean had known his entire life and they had each, in their own ways, urged Dean to participate in their debates and discussions but he had always found a way to pointedly disregard their prompting. Seeing it more as pity, than a core belief that Dean belonged in the conversation. 

With Cas, though… There was something so simply pure and kind about him, the idea of denying him anything left him feeling barbed somehow. 

That feeling didn’t seem to lessen with time. 

As intelligent, kind and generous Cas soon was discovered to be, another equally as charming characteristic was brought to the attention of their friends; 

Cas was naive.

He was (and still is) utterly unaware of his natural allure or anything else that was integral to his  _ awesome _ personality. 

Brilliant as he has always been, he didn’t know much beyond his sheltered upbringing. It was probably why he hadn’t then or even now, immediately connected the dots when it came to how Dean felt about him. 

**_***_ **

_ Dean had come to this library a total of 9 times in the span of 4 days.  _

_ Initially, Sam was confused- almost  _ concerned _ about his older brother, thinking maybe his grades were slipping.  _

_ It was getting increasingly odd, he wasn’t just seeking out the public library but being  _ eager _ to get there. _

_ He had cancelled lunch twice on him last week because he, ‘Hadda hit the books at the Library, Sammy. We’ll do something next week!’ _

_ Dean Winchester? Skipping out on Roadhouse burgers? He thinks not! _

_ So this time, when he sent a quick text to cancel for a  _ **third** _ time in favor of another library run, Sam decided to tag along.  _

_ Although Dean was older and studying an entirely different field than he was, the youngest Winchester was well versed in the benefits a study buddy could provide. He presumed at least his company would serve his brother well. _

_ Should he have told Dean that he was going to tag along? _

_ Maybe… Okay, probably.  _

_ But Dean wasn’t one to express weakness and Sam could never be sure when it came to the blonde. He was so hot and cold on so many different things. He didn’t want to accidentally offend him by offering his help. _

_ So, he figured if he showed up and subtly infiltrated his study session, passing it off as an opportunity to study himself (which of course wasn’t a bad idea in and of itself) where was the harm in that? _

_ Honestly, he was disappointed in himself for not realizing this was all about some tail.  _

_ Good thing he changed his mind last year and opted for legal studies instead of Law enforcement. He’s apparently a poor excuse for a detective. _

_ Because there his brother was. _

_ He sat at a table off in the corner of the room. Away from the windows and too near the more heavily stacked and cluttered shelves to make his presence at all obvious. _

_ There were a few books stacked at his table. None of which had anything to do with one another, let alone mechanical sciences, which so happened to be Deans Major.  _

_ The most pitiful part was the book he was ‘reading’ was upside down. _

_ Sam quenches the urge to face-palm, choosing to instead trace where his brother's gaze remained glued.  _

_ It took him two tries before he determined the subject of Deans, admittedly shameless gawking.  _

_ The man, clearly utilizing their public library as it was  _ intended,  _ had his brow pinched, sat alone at a table of his own, books also piled a mile high, none the wiser of his cleverly concealed admirer.  _

_ Sam made his way over to Dean as discreetly as he could, only realizing once he was in front of his bone head of a brother that he had no reason to be sneaky. _

_ He doubted Dean had made a move yet, which was weird, but there was no way he had made a move if he was being a creeper from all the way on the other side of the room.  _

_ “Should have known this was all about a hot piece of ass.” Sam shakes his head in mock disappointment, “Is this worth missing lunch with me?” _

_ Dean doesn’t even have the decency to properly acknowledge Sam, glancing at him for half a second before letting his gaze run back to black hair and blue eyes.  _

_ Without looking up again, Dean blindly sifts around his table and lifts a ziploc bag half full with Pringles for the law student to see.  _

_ “That’s food? And it just sitting there, only supports the not eating concern.”  _

_ Narrowing his eyes in agitation, Dean straightens up in his seat, roughly opening up his snack and munching on one unfortunate chip in two bites,  _

_ “See?,” He snaps, “ I ate. Now let me creep in peace.” _

_ Sam can’t help but laugh at his expense, not that Dean can blame him; he  _ **was** _ acting odd.  _

_ Taking a seat beside Dean, Sam whistles lowly, offering a look that appears to be a cross between impressed and concerned,  _

_ “Who is this guy, anyway? I’ve never seen you like this before.” _

_ “...I don’t know.” _

_ “You don’t know?” _

_ Green finds their way back to the guy in question. The same guy who has had Dean in a trance for nearly a month now, drinking in the way his eyes soften as he begins to understand whatever it is he’s reading, taking notes between pages.  _

_ “He does this thing where he holds his highlighter between his ring and middle finger as he writes. He switches between it and his pen, one handed, Sammy… It’s… It’s-uh” He stumbles catching himself before he can admit to Sam just how much of a stalker he had become in the last three weeks.  _

_ It might have been too late though, because Sam is already giving him his signature bitch face. Lips pursed and brow raised in suspicion.  _

_ Dean wants to bury himself underneath the table, but then he wouldn’t have as good of an angle to continue stalking.  _

Jesus,  _ he thinks,  _ What the fuck is wrong with me?

_ “I ask myself that about you, almost every day.” _

_ Hmm, he must have said that aloud…. _

_ “Fuck you, Sam.” _

_ Chuckling, Sam shrugs, “Sorry, but I’ve never seen you this way. It’s nice to see you have feelings. Stalkery feelings but feelings nonetheless.” _

_ “I am not stalking him!” _

_ “Oh yeah? Whatcha you reading there, big bro?” _

_ Dean scoffs, trying to sneakily catch a glimpse of the random book he had set in front of him before he realizes it’s not rightside up and the title is nowhere near display.  _

_ “Fine.” He sighs, “But I’m not stalking him. I only see him here. I think his name is Cas. I heard the librarian call him that last week. And before you say anything I wasn’t purposefully eavesdropping, I was working myself up to turn on the charm and she so happened to intercept me before I had the chance.” _

_ “So you mean to tell me that you’ve been coming here to ogle this poor guy for however long and you still haven't even introduced yourself?” _

_ Dean glares at the youngest Winchester before he internally reflects on his words.  _

_ He's right. By all means he should have made his move ages ago, but… He doesn’t know, maybe the guys’ just intimidating. _

_ He’d seen him very pointedly, with an impressive amount of sass, shoot down all types of people who dared to approach him.  _

_ Dean’s never had a problem in the flirting department before. Guys and chicks alike had no problem rolling right into his bed. There were some he needed an actual crowbar to pry them away from said bed. Not that he could blame them, (memory foam bitch!).  _

_ But there was something off-different-about this stanger. He just couldn’t put his finger on it. _

_ “Wow,” Sam continues,  _ _ “I’ve never seen you with a crush.” _

_ “Psh! Please, Dean Winchester does not get crushes.” _

_ “Mhhmm. I’ve got two words for you;‘ Dr.Sexy’.” _

_ “You can’t just use Dr. Sexy against me at every turn, Sam.” _

_ Sam scoffs, “The hell I can’t! It’s my right as the younger brother. Now can you please make a move already? This is painful to watch.” _

_ Dean rolls his eyes, and tries to find a reason to argue with the overgrown twerp but he can’t find a one good enough. _

_ Again, sam's right. He needs to go over there! _

_ He may just lose his mind if he doesn’t. _

_ Squaring his shoulders, Dean takes a deep breath.  _

Now or never.

_ “Alright, I’m gonna go”  _

_ “Hallelujah!” _

_ Suddenly, one foot is moving in front of the other towards the object of his most recent obsession.  _

_ His mind is swimming. His thoughts sluggish and unresponsive, moving waayy too slow because now he’s in front of him and he forgot to come up with something to say.  _

_ The brunette pulls his attention away from his book, paralyzing Dean instantly.  _

_ Holy shit, those are  _ **Blue...**

_ Well, that definitely isn't gonna help Dean formulate words. _

_ “Can I help you?” _

_ Woah. _

_ Now, that’s a voice. _

_ It takes him a moment before his brain is reminding him this is the part where he’s meant to say something,  _

_ “Ahem, oh! Um,yeah.” _

_ Alright, there you go Winchester!  _

_ Seal the deal, use a cheesy pick up line, they're funny and they’re flattering, hasn’t failed you yet. _

_ Feeling the confidence strengthen his spine, Dean allows an easy smirk to tug at his lips,  _

_ “Hey there, sweetheart, sorry to bother you. But do you think you can help me find something?” _

_ Dean had run that line a handful of times. It was like a play he put on. He’s gotten different responses, all within a certain ballpark of each other and all relevant to how he could eventually get a laugh and get a lay. _

_ That is, before Cas he could.  _

_ Blue eyes squint up at the taller man, “Do you think I work here?”, he asks _

Well, that’s not in the script.

_ “Do you- Do you  _ not _ work here?” Dean stumbles, feeling flustered for what may be the first time. _

_ “No,” Cas says slowly.  _

_ The smaller man tilts his head to the side in confusion, giving Dean enough time to pause his flustered freak out to note how adorable it is.  _

_ This is not how this is supposed to go! _

_ Dean is meant to ask, ‘Can you help me to find something’ _

_ Then Cas would reply, ‘Find what?’ _

_ Before being met by a cheesy, ‘The keys to your heart.’ _

_ “I- I’m sorry, “ He finally settles on saying. He can practically hear Sam wince from behind him.  _

_ Oh, he’s sorry. Sorry he ever stood up from that damn chair. _

_ “Please ignore me. Forget- Forget I ever. Ugh.” _

_ Dean shakes his head, not even bothering with a proper apology anymore. He struggles to meant Sam’s penitent expression, he’s ready to ignore him and drown out this failed attempt with booze and random sex, but then... _

_ “No, wait!” _

_ Dean is half way to his table when he feels a warm hand gently grip his forearm. He is immediately met by those intense blue and his tongue stops working all over again. _

_ It didn’t matter though, because apparently it was Cas' turn to talk.  _

_ “Don’t be upset. I don’t mind. I practically live here these days. As a child I actually seriously considered library sciences. I promise I’m not offended.” _

_ Cas’ eyes are huge. Like impossibly big.  _

_ He can see that he’s nervous. That he’s working on impulse and feels like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It's overwhelming. Deans never seen anything like it, Never understood the phrase  _ ‘Windows to the soul'  _ before this moment but it was undeniable, like reading off the pages of a book.  _

_ For a second, Dean worries he’s been staring for too long, but when Cas doesn’t express any protest he tries to see if he can gage any thoughts from those wide expressive eyes.  _

_ “Would- Would you, uh, like to get some coffee with me? My brother just ditched me, and I can use some company.” He lies.  _

_ Sam found his way here, he can find his way home, he figures.  _

_ Cas looks unsure. Shy… _

_ Stange.  _

_ He didn’t appear all that shy all those times people had come up to him before. He was way more...Guarded? Almost prepared for a brawl. _

_ Dean wanted to spend hours asking him questions. Hearing that unexpectedly deep voice say his name. He could only imagine hoe addicted he’d be to it, _

_ “I think some coffee would suit me well. Thank you.”  _

_ It was the first time he had seen Cas smile. I _ _ t's unsettling how beautiful it is. Something fluttery and too warm pools in his stomach and he never wants it to stop.  _

_ They properly introduce themselves, then walk to the coffee shop on campus, no more than a 15 minute walk from where they had been.  _

_ Like water, the conversation crashes into them. Waves of new topics washing over each subject before it.  _

_ By the time they made it to the coffee shop Dean had Cas doubled over in laughter.  _

_ He had paid for Cas’ caffeine monstrosity- that’s a sugar milkshake, Cas!- as well as his own-normal- coffee, much to the English majors dismay. Dean had made up some bullshit about making it up to Cas for confusing him with staff, and for whatever reason Cas genuinely believed him. Offering a tight smile and promising to treat next time,  _

_ Dean tried not show (or think) how  _ **fucking excited** _ the thought of a next time made him.  _

_ They spent close to two hours, switching from conversation to conversation.  _

_ Dean learned a lot that night. He learned that Cas was the youngest of 5 brothers. He was homeschooled by his mother, who was thankfully a retired college professor due to some incessant bullying. He tried to play it off as if it was no big deal, but Dean also noticed a pattern throughout their hang out-date?- Cas had a tendency to bite the corner of his lip right before he skipped over something a bit too personal, as if he was stopping himself from saying more.  _

_ Dean was quick to see that he didn’t share the same amount of self control when it came to talking to the insanely brilliant brunette.  _

_ He spoke about his mothers Death and his fathers absence, he raved about Sam and his favorite movies and every topic in between _

_ When that well ran dry, they guessed eachothers favorite colors amongst other trivial things and didn’t leave until the waitress politely kicked them out for not buying anything else, _

_ They’re standing outside the coffee shop, the sun starting to descend from the sky. Dean can’t believe how long they spent talking.  _

_ “Well, this has been very enjoyable, but I should probably be getting home.” Cas grins, biting his lip just the slightest bit and Dean feels his entire body convulse with the  _ need _ to know what he wanted to add to that sentence.  _

_ “Can I walk you?” He hears himself ask, shoving his hands into his pockets, afraid he’ll do something stupid like reach out and take Cas’ hand into his own. _

_ “You don’t have to do that.” Cas argues. _

_ “Yeah, but I want to.” _

_ It’s too easy to say what he’s thinking with this guy. What the hell? It’s like he has no filter.  _

_ Opening and closing his mouth for a moment before clearing his throat, Cas nods his head,  _

_ “O-okay. Sure, I’d like that.” _

_ Cas, unfortunately, lived fairley close to the coffee shop they had come from, no more than 10 minutes.  _

_ Still they stretched those 10 minutes into an eternity. Rounded the block a full two times before Deans curiosity got the best of him.  _

Ugh,  _ he thought _ , all the apartments on campus looked identical, he felt like he passed his own a handful of times but he wasn’t paying mind to the numbers, not when he could be paying attention to Cas.

_ “Where do you live anyway? We’ve been walking for like half an hour.” _

_ “Oh well,” Cas stammers bashfully, a laugh hanging off the corner of soft pink lips. _

_ “We’ve actually passed my house twice now. And actually, I really should be getting home. I have an exam tomorrow.” _

_ “Dude! Why didn’t you say anything?”  _

_ “I’m sorry,” He says between bashful chuckles, “You were just so enthralled with your story about the Dr. show, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt you, but I have to go really bad.” _

_ “No, man. It’s alright.” Dean assures him, catching his breath,  _

_ “I’m the one who should be sorry.” _

_ Cas shakes his head, “If we turn here it’s the third house we passed on this block,” _

_ The amature author points in the direction of his shared dorm apartment.  _

_ Hmm, it was close. Damn. _

_ In seconds, they’re in front of Cas’ door, the sun starting to come down, The light reflecting off Cas head from this one angle, and it almost looks like he had a halo.  _

_ Jesus…. He’s lossin’ his edge.  _

_ “Where do you live, Dean?” _

_ “342 B” _

_ With a blank expression, Cas tilts his head in that ridiculously adorable way again.  _

_ “Whats up?” _

_ “Dean, This  _ is  _ building 342.”  _

_ That’s when Dean looks up towards the mailbox set by the stoop. In bold numbers confirming what Cas just said. _

_ “Oh.” _

_ Cas laughs something melodic and loud, making Dean’s own laughter range louder, unable to believe they're fucking neighbors! _

_ “We passed this building twice!” _

_ “I guess I was distracted,” He flirts.  _

_ Giving another small laugh, Cas shakes his head “This was very kind of you, Dean. I had a great time, Thank you” _

_ “Anytime, Cas. I had a lot of fun too.” _

_ Suddenly, Cas is moving his mouth to bring his teeth forward but he stops himself,  _

_ “I’ve had a really hard time making any friends since classes started. I’ve been told that I come off as a bit of a loner or intense. The loneliness was really starting to get to me, so…” He trails off, biting that god forsaken lip again.  _

_ He sighs heavily, his smile timid again, as opposed to the confident sure smiles he had sported the last couple of hours.  _

_ “Thank you,” he repeats earnestly, I really needed a friend.“  _

_ It’s like a record scratched,  _

_ “Can you consider yourself friends with someone after a single afternoon?” He asks Dean curiously.  _

_ The last thing he learned that night was something he wished he hadn’t noticed. But it was painfully obvious,  _

_ So damn painful… _

_ The way Cas said goodbye to the librarian and thanked the waitress for her patience or the cashier for his time. _

_ It shows the most essential elements of who he was as a person.  _

_ Cas is kind. Through and through.  _ **Good** **_._ **

_ More so than Dean had ever been able to witness before. He could feel it emanating off his body; the sheer compassion is a palpable force demanding Dean recognize the situation for what it was. _

_ That fact alone brought him to the last of his first impressions of who would become his best friend for the next 5 years.  _

_ Cas was lightyears out of his league. _

_ Even if he could seduce the innocent, unbelievably smart man into actually dating him, Dean would never be Cas’ happily ever after.  _

_ Eventually they would fall out. Not work out and Cas would inevitably walk away from him.  _

_ That’s assuming. Cas would ever willingly consider Dean. _

_ He takes a lasting look into vibrant blue, recognizing just how addicted he was already. As he knew he would be. _

_ He could see the future so clearly, Cas smiling at him, knowing him more than anyone else ever would. He wouldn’t have said he fell in love with Castiel during their first meeting but he would say the thought of never seeing him again left his soul feeling empty and starving for the space Cas would so easily take up in his world.  _

_ Maybe he can’t have Cas as a lover. That’s fine. He can do friends. _

_ Maybe that’s why it had been so difficult to just go up to him in the first place. Why laying down the groundwork for a fling was nearly impossible, because on some level, he had known Cas would be different. _

_ A friend. _

_ “Yeah, Bud.” He smiles, not at all hollow,  _

_ “We’re definitely friends.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! That was soooo much longer than i thought but i couldn't stop going! I hope y'all like it   
> Also yay we get a little bit of an origin story! I love internally sappy Dean and writing him is just as fun. I'm new to it though, I'm more used to writing a heavily emotionally constipated and or closeted Dean so this is interesting for me. Please let me know what you think about this chapter and what you hope to see next in the comments!  
> Thank you and stay safe all and happy holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovlies! I hope you all enjoyed! I have most of this already finished so I intend on updating the rest pretty soon.  
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, they keep me going!  
> Stay safe, everyone!


End file.
